Our guest contributor, Aditi Chaturvedi, shares her journey from being a professional to a stay-at-home parent. To read her bio, click here.
“The bond between siblings,
Sometimes loosely held,
But never broken.”
We need siblings at all age.
I had always wanted a single child.
Even before I got married, I knew I wanted just one child; whom I would give the world to.
The very best of everything. No compromises. Best of care, best of clothes, best of education, best of my time and love. I didn’t want the child to feel shared.
That was my naivety.
When my first born turned 2, I started feeling that my company wasn’t enough for her and her development.
I saw my sister’s kids bonding with each other and felt a pinch somewhere that my child doesn’t have anyone to share that private bond with.
Even now as her boys are on the threshold of teenage, she can rest assured that they have each other’s backs.
As three siblings, when we were young, we had such fun time. The late night talks, the arguments, the fights. Oh My God, the fights! And making up afterwards.
The cajoling of one another afterwards or bribing each other for keeping secrets.
Our very own code language! I assume all siblings have a code language within themselves.
Be it to make fun of people or warn each other of parent’s wrath. It’s like you have a life long friend, with whom you can be yourself. That’s how strong sibling love is.
A little while after my elder one turned one, my mother lost her elder brother to a cardiac arrest. That had left all of us devastated.
But, the amount of shock and grief that my mother and the two other uncles went through had me questioning my decision.
They were shattered but they had each other to hold up. One of my uncles who stays abroad was in constant emotional turmoil.
The way my mother and younger uncle handled him made me realize sibling relationship is critically important, not only in childhood but as adults as well.
It’s the kind of understanding and support that siblings can offer each other. That can only come from sharing a home. A life. An innocent phase of life where everything is happy and carefree. There are no responsibilities or worries.
During our chats, my husband would often narrate about him and his sister and their childhood days.
And that left me wanting for another child, but also debating to myself about my resolve of giving the best to my first born.
I wasn’t sure. But God was.
And we were blessed with my second daughter( who, BTW, is a sweet pea monster capable of killing you with her sweetness and her nails).
Together they made me fully realise the importance of siblings. They are the world in themselves; a universe even. They don’t need anyone.
Being in each other’s company makes them content to such an extent that they don’t need a soft bed to jump on.
They sit under the dining table and scribble on the wall; on the kitchen counter and smuggle cookies and chocolates to each other.
They are on a lookout for one another when they are up to no good. And, protect each other fervently as if their life depended on it.
But, a single twitch of a brow and it’s battle time!
If they breathe within each other’s diameter, it’s war cry!
As soon as the parents start scolding or punishing the other one, they huddle up once again; arm in arm
standing against the world to protect one another.
That’s when I know I am covered.
I am sure having siblings has its downside as well. Having to share the room, bed, clothes and everything with another human being who is as annoying as is loved.
However, only a sibling would understand the stabbing pain of separation I felt, like when my sister left home to make one of her own.
The loneliness we felt when we all left each other to make our own lives.
But we never lost touch.
In retrospect, having a sibling is the biggest gift I’ve ever had. One I would never trade for the entire weight of gold in the world.
And as I look at my girls squabble, I know they would feel the same.